Op-Ed Columnist: Marriage: Mix and Match
"If we're serious about constitutional remedies for marital breakdowns, we could adopt an amendment criminalizing adultery. Zamfara, a state in northern Nigeria, has had success in reducing AIDS, prostitution and extramarital affairs by sentencing adulterers to be stoned to death.

Short of that, it seems to me that the best way to preserve the sanctity of American marriage is for us all to spend less time fretting about other people's marriages — and more time improving our own."

I agree with some clarifications and questions. I agree that we should spend time improving our own marriages and less worrying about the marriages of others (unless you are a pastor or a caregiver and spend time counseling married and soon to be married couples). Yet what is the goal of improving our marriages? Is it our personal happiness? Our spouse's personal happiness? If happiness is the goal in a marriage, then we will continue to see divorce in record numbers because of our superficial understanding regarding the purpose and function of marriage.

Marriage serves as a picture of God's love for us. It serves as a word-picture of reconciliation between us and God. In this sense it is a sacramental relationship.

Ultimately, the purpose of marriage is our holiness not our happiness. It's purpose is to shape us more and more into the image of Christ. Make us more and more Christ-like. So if we marry a difficult and challenging spouse, we have all the more opportunity to experience holiness. (Thanks to Gary Thomas' great book, Sacred Marriage for educating me on this).

So the ultimate question for me regarding gay marriages is this: Does a gay marriage serve to represent God's redeeming work in the world? Does a gay marriage serve to demonstrate God's reconciliation? Does a gay marriage serve to make each partner more holy or is the goal personal happiness?

All of these questions can be applied to heterosexual marriages as well. And many if not most marriages will be found lacking.